*siiigh*

so my alarm clock has stopped being good to me.

I've been waking up in the afternoon, and that doesn't make me happy.

I think Too Little Too Late doesn't have enough juice left to keep me motivated,

or awake, even. and that makes me sad.

I haven't been drawing. I haven't sketched anything worth my time in so long. I feel like I've lost my creativity bug. and that makes me disappointed.

I have a working camera, and I've come to realize that I haven't used it enough to even compose a second photography portfolio. and that also,

doesn't make me happy.

I can change all of these things, if I want to. but I'm lazy, and I know it, and I have the time,

I just don't manage it, or use it at all, well.

I've begun to read the curious incident of the dog in the night-time, by mark haddon. it's ryan's.

when we went up to montreal last, I remember him reading this book on the carride there,

and reading it in the spare bedroom during his spare time, and him finishing it within the few days we stayed for our visit. I suppose I reccollect this so distinctly because I cannot remember a different time where I've seen him read with such focus, so wholeheartedly.

and recently, a mother of a friend of sean's was talking to me about this book, and she had such a look on her face, of. I don't know what. bewilderment, and confusion, that it, and her words about how bizarre and pointless the book was, caused me to begin reading it the minute I got home. Isn't that weird? I guess I'm that stubborn, that if someone has such a solid opinion on something and I know I can prove them wrong about, I'll do it. prove them wrong, that is. but I think it's more to prove to myself that I can think as independently as I care to, and to such objection of someone else's opinion, that it can serve as a reminder of everyone's interpretations and views on a subject.

today is going to be the day I will ride my bike. I have to take a shower first..

I miss Chris Farley so hard, I almost cry just thinking about it.

thanks for putting up with that little rant up there.

I'm cutting this so short because

I've realized I have things to do. and I can do them right now,

if I want.

and

I want.

hugs,

elise.